Monday, June 10, 2013

8 June 13: Sarah Finds Lots of Scorpions and Millie Leaves Home?


Happy Saturday everybody! I am trying to get back into the habit of writing weekly so here it is! This marks the 29th post I have written. Can you believe that? I have been in Botswana for almost 10 months! Seems like just yesterday I was packing my life into a suitcase and bidding everyone farewell!

I am proud to say that I spent a lot of time this week playing with my kids. The scheduled topic for GrassRootSoccer was gender norms, so I thought it would be nice to have it at my house where there are fewer distractions. On Thursday, my kids showed up at "Maduo's House!!!!!!" and we talked about some sensitive stuff (why do I have to wash the dishes just because I'm a woman? Why do I have to cook for my husband? Why do I have to go to the cattle post just because I'm a boy? etc.) Afterwards, I handed out some of the balls and frisbees from the King's Foundation pack and we played until dark! We did it all over again on Friday with the other half of my kids! I continue to be amazed at how smart they are, and eager to learn. Through GrassRootSoccer I have been able to form relationships with the kids and foster an environment of openness and honesty. Yesterday, one of my best and brightest, Phomolo, asked me about female circumcision (aka female genital mutilation.) He had read about it in his Religious and Moral Education textbook. He was too embarrassed to ask his teacher so he asked me! It makes my life to know that I have become someone that kids feel like they can go to. We have two practices left, a graduation party, and then GRS is over for the year.
These ladies entered a traditional Setswana house competition and  BUILT THIS HOUSE!!!



Traditional Setswana house. Isn't it beautiful?
My garden is growing like crazy!!


I am devastated to report that Millie is still missing. My neighbor suggested that maybe she was attacked by a wild animal at night. Or maybe she is still sitting on eggs. Who knows. Phomolo wants to organize a "chicken search of the village" because "everyday walking home from school, it was so nice to see Millie. She was the most beautiful and nicest chicken in the world." If that doesn't pluck at your heart string...
Yoga at prison this week was a success, yet again! The theme of our class was "karma." I explained to them what karma is and how it works. At the end of class, anybody who wanted to could try a headstand on my mat. We clapped and made a big ol deal about it so that everyone could feel a little special. After yoga, I went to the police station for aerobics. Only one person showed up so I announced that aerobics is cancelled until after winter. My Wednesday afternoons are free now and I am a happy lady.

Complaint Alert!!! I am about to complain about my health problems in Africa, which is really annoying to hear about week after week I know, so you can skip this part and I won't hold it against you. On Tuesday night, I ate some leftover curry with chicken. After that, I started feeling nauseous. The nausea continued (without vomiting) Wednesday, and then Thursday, and then Friday, and now. I have no idea what is the cause. This morning, I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything other than bread (which I don't usually eat) so I marched myself to the general dealer, bought some flour, sugar, and margarine to make some daggon bread. Since then, I've made banana bread and soft pretzels. I'm remembering the time that I ate 2 pounds of beets in less than a day. I couldn't stop myself and all I could think about was eating more beets. Beets, beets, beets. After I ate all of the beets, I felt great and I no longer craved them. I've learned that when you crave something to the point of being distracted from your real life, it means that your body NEEDS you to eat that. So I'm hoping that maybe my body is telling me that rice isn't enough carbohydrates to live. We will see. Maybe it's just TIA (This Is Africa.) Either that or I'm pregnant by immaculate conception/gonna change my name to Mary/gonna be famous.

For the remainder of the weekend, I hope to spend a ridiculous amount of time cross stitching and reading, with a little bit of laundry and gardening thrown in. I'm going to the internet cafe on Monday to fill out the Annual Volunteer Survey and I'm going to update my blog with pictures!!!!!! I realized that I forgot to tell you about an amazing workshop I did at the beginning of May, so look for details of that if you're interested in the May post.

Oh yeah, I found another scorpion in my garden!!!!!!! And one in the bathtub!!! Baby scorpions, but still. One day they will be big scorpions with lethal venom. Aaah! Oh yeah, it's cold here now. It's pleasant by noon, but in the morning...brrr. Do you know what's worse than sitting in a boring meeting at 7:30am? Sitting in a boring meeting at 7:30am AND YOU CAN SEE YOUR BREATH IN THE AIR. Ponder on that one.
Well, I've eaten three soft pretzels and now I think it's time to lay down. Thank you for continuing to read my posts, all 29 of them! Here's to 17 more months and many more updates!

3 June 13: Sarah Goes to Maun!!!


Good day everybody!!! I am finally sitting down to write about all of the exciting stuff that has happened in the last two weeks. Get comfy, make yourself a delicious cup of instant coffee...this is gonna be a long one!

Last I wrote, I was fixin to head up north to Maun, Botswana for a little solo vacation. I packed up my sleeping bag, borrowed a tent, locked all the inside doors in my house and set off! I spent the night before my vacation in Lehututu at Ashley's house so that I could easily catch the 6am bus. So that you can understand what it's like to travel in Africa I'm gonna give you all the exciting details of my adventure to get to Maun. I caught the bus at 6am but I was only able to go as far as Kang (an hour's journey) because the bus was going on to the capital city. After getting off the bus, I dragged all my stuff to the road that leads up north. I was really really lucky in that I only waited about 15 minutes before I got a hitch. I rode the next 3 hours with a Namibian trucker on his way to deliver a load from Mozambique. It was a not unpleasant ride, comfortable seat, decent conversation, the usual marriage proposals. He dropped me off before the Namibian border where I immediately hopped into the back of a truck. Do you know what it feels like to ride in the back of a truck that's going 80mph?!? Cheeks flappin in the wind! Hair a rat's nest! Good time.


After an exhilarating half hour, I got out of the bed of the truck in Ganzi. I took a taxi to the north-bound hitching spot. Not having had any success getting a ride after an hour, I walked to a gas station down the road. I felt confident that I could get a ride from there but again, I was unsuccessful. A very kind and generous employee convinced me to take the bus and drove me to the bus rank. I got on the bus to Maun at around 2:30 and arrived in Maun at 6 o'clock. I walked to a grocery store, bought some food for the week, and took a taxi to the backpackers. After it was all said and done it took me 13 hours to get to my destination! I was wore out, irritated, and hungry when I checked in at the Old Bridge Backpackers but that passed...
My first camp site
Relaxing area at Old Bridge Backpackers. See the hammock
on the right?
When I arrived, I was greeted by a fella named Steve. He showed me to my camping spot, told me to set up shop, and then to find him. I set up my tent, laid out my sleeping bag, opened a can of baked beans for dinner, bought a beer at the backpacker's bar, and found Steve. As I ate my beans out of the can, I perused a book of possible adventures! There were so many options! 4x4 safari! Mokoro (traditional dug out canoe) trip! Helicopter ride over the delta! Ultimately I chose my adventures based on my limited funds and with Steve's help I signed up for a Mokoro day trip, a basket weaving lesson, and horse back riding!
I stayed at the backpackers from Tuesday night until Sunday morning. My basket weaving lesson was awesome! The ladies that make the baskets gather palm fronds from the river, dye them, and then weave baskets, which take weeks to complete. I spent 3 hours weaving and I made a basket the size of my palm! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the backpackers is right on a river. There was a crocodile chilling on the other side for an evening.
Basket ingredients: water and dyed palm fronds

Making a basket is harder than it looks!

Can you believe it took me 3 hours to make a basket the size of my palm? Multipurpose!
Baskets for Sale!
The horseback riding fell through due to TIA. TIA = THIS IS AFRICA. The highlight of my adventure was the mokoro day trip! Me and two French guys were taken by motor boat up the delta about an hour, during which time we saw a juvenile crocodile and lots of amazing birds. Then we got into mokoros, canoes dug out of tree trunks. Unlike American canoes, mokoros are "driven" by pushing a long pole off the bottom of the river. I could not believe that the tiny little lady standing at the back of my mokoro was going to push me upstream all day but she did! We spent the morning gliding through shallow wetlands, lotus blossoms everywhere! Around lunch time, we "parked" the mokoros and went for a game walk. We saw lots and lots of foot prints, even elephant prints. We saw a herd of zebras, wildebeest, and bunch of baboons. The backpackers provided us with a box lunch and we picnicked under a shady tree. Let me sum this up. I ATE LUNCH WITH ELEPHANT TRACKS AND ZEBRA HERDS IN THE OKAVANGO DELTA. Sometimes it doesn't seem real and I have to remind myself how extraordinary my adventure is.
Crocodile!
My mokoro driver

Frank and Julienne, nicest French guys in the whole world

Awesome Baobab tree

Can you spot the puff adder?

zebras and wildebeest!

Fred the Baboon, King of the World
Trying my hand at the mokoro!
After lunch, we got into the mokoros and headed back the way we came. While we were eating lunch, several bush fires had ignited on both sides of the river. This led to my being almost killed by a puff adder. Because of the fires, the snakes had taken to the water. Without spotting it, my mokoro lady pulled the canoe RIGHT BESIDE the snake. The guide in the other mokoro pointed out the highly venomous snake and started yelling at the lady to push backwards because I, sitting in the front of the canoe, was literally inches away from its head. Thrilling! By the time me, Frank, and Julienne made it back to the mokoro starting point we were sun burnt, hot, and happy as clams. I was only a little disappointed that I didn't get to see a hippo but that faded when I tried my hand at pushing the mokoro. Epic fail. Balancing on a glorified two by four and pushing yourself along with a pole is harder than it looks. The motor boat came and swooped us up around 4 o'clock to return to the backpackers. As we sipped juice and water and talked about all we had seen, the guide said "What do you think that is up there?" I looked ahead and saw her! A big ol' fat lady hippo grazing in the river!!!! She was chomping on some reeds like it was her job until our boat got a little too close. She suddenly decided to be shy and she submerged but not before I took about a million pictures of her!

Hey lady!
Most of the time I spent at the backpackers relaxing and socializing. Although I went up there alone, there was never any shortage of company. Besides the awesome French guys, I also made friends with the staff, met some Americans, and befriended a bunch of Afrikaaners. We spent the evenings drinking beer, relaxing by the fire, and swapping stories. By coincidence, I met the father of one of the PCV's here in Botswana. As it happens, he was in Kentucky working for FEMA during the flood of 2010 that wiped me out. Small world huh?
Beeky, the barman

Jonah

Me and Steve!!!
Although I was camping, I stayed snugly in my tent. I charmed Steve into giving me a thin mattress to put under my sleeping bag. The backpackers had nice outdoor shower facilities, flush toilets, a waterfall into the river, and a kitchen for guests to use! Maun looks more like Florida than Botswana. There are palm trees! Lots and lots of them! I was not thrilled to spend 12 hours going back to my village, but I came home feeling renewed and happy. Still, I can't wait to go back!
Nice bathrooms!

My first week home from my trip was a busy one. Sunday evening a man from an NGO called The King's Foundation arrived to do trainings in mine and Ashley's village. Because Ashley has an extra bed Victor stayed with her. I spent all day Monday going around my village inviting people to attend my event. The King's Foundation provides volunteers with backpacks full of play equipment for kids. Their premise is that kids needs to be kids, not household laborers. They come and train adults to be facilitators to use the equipment with kids. When Victor and I conducted the training in my village on Tuesday, I had 16 adults show up! That may not sound like a lot but that is a good number of people to mobilize in one day! We spent three hours in the afternoon "training," which was really just grown up playtime. The backpack is full of different balls, hoops, a parachute, a bat, and a bunch of other good stuff. After the training Victor and I went back to Ashley's village for the night.
King's Foundation ninja game

Who doesn't love the parachute??
Wednesday was back to my regular schedule. I taught yoga at prison and then went to the police station to teach aerobics. During my trip to Maun I spent a lot of time thinking about how I could make the most of my service and what I needed to do to be fulfilled. I decided to shift my focus more to kids. Interest in aerobics has been waning so as of last week, I am only teaching aerobics one night a week. When I went to teach aerobics on Wednesday, only one person showed up and she was unable to participate due to injury. If no one shows up this week, I will cancel aerobics altogether, which I won't be that sad about.

Thursday afternoon most of my kids left the village for a sports competition. After school, I did GrassRootSoccer with the kids that had been left behind. Afterwards, we played with some of the things from the King's Foundation backpack. The little kids loooovve the parachute. Their favorite game is "What Time is it Mr. Wolf?" They stand around the outside of the parachute while I walk around them. They ask me "what time is it Mr. Wolf?" I say some random time, i.e. "It's two o'clock!" and they wave the parachute twice. When I yell "It's dinner time!" they have to get under the parachute and sit on it so that the wolf (me) doesn't get them. Let me tell ya, dinner time is just the funnest thing in the whole world for them. They all get under there and scream and roll around in the dust. They don't care. They love it!

Not only did most of my students leave for the competition but their teachers went too. Instead of letting them sit in the classroom doing nothing, I gathered up my kids on Friday morning and showed them a short film. We watched "Imiti Ikula," which is about a young orphan girl living as a boy on the streets of Lusaka, Zambia. Sounds really uplifting right? It's not meant to be. During my inservice training, I spent two days learning to show a set of videos designed to stimulate social change. Imiti Ikula is one of the maybe 40 DVD's that I have sitting in my closet. I was really excited to finally have a venue to show one of the films! I used the film to start a conversation with my kids, age 10-14, about children's rights. It really is amazing how much the kids already know. After the discussion, I rewarded their good behavior with cartoons. Don't tell anybody but we spent most of our educational time watching Looney Tunes!

Friday afternoon, I went to the prison to do a health talk about anger management. 25 guys showed up! Record turn out! I talked at them like I usually do and then we had a lighthearted, but serious discussion about short tempers. Working at the prison continues to be one of my favorite activities.

I spent the weekend harvesting, washing, and freezing herbs and lettuce from my garden for the winter. The winter is upon us and soon it will begin freezing at night. I don't think my garden is going to do too well during that time. Fortunately, I have been able to grow more lettuce and herbs than I can eat. I am eating a huge salad for lunch everyday and I still have more. Botswana has recently declared a ban on produce from South Africa (pretty much where all of our produce comes from) so I'm feeling like a squirrel hoarding acorns! I am so so so so glad that I invested in a garden. I'm also harvesting cherry tomatoes, carrots, and onions on a regular basis. Last week I panicked when I opened the spigot of my jojo (rainwater collection tank) and all that came out was a trickle. After a whole summer of watering twice a day, it has finally run out. The little bit of water that is left I am saving for emergencies. Not to worry though! I've begun saving my dish and bath water and it is more than enough to feed the garden.

On a sad note, Millie has gone missing. I last saw her on Thursday evening. The general consensus around the village (keep in mind that Millie is a famous chicken) is that Millie has laid eggs somewhere and is now sitting on them. I sure hope that she returns and even better if she returns with a little family of babies. I might be a grandma! I have been told that people don't steal grown up chickens because they will just go back home at night. We will see.
look at that stash!

Thanks to the donations of Sharon Stewart Riley (my mama) and her coworkers, I was able to buy and distribute 86 bars of soap and 36 tubes of toothpaste to the men at the prison today. It's amazing what we take for granted, isn't it? After seeing how excited a grown man can get from receiving a bar of soap, I'll never take being clean for granted again.

This week looks to be another busy one. GrassRootSoccer, yoga at prison, a staff meeting at school, two possible computer classes for teachers (if anyone signs up), aerobics, and lots of cutting and freezing lettuce. Ashley, a volunteer named Tate, and myself are in the planning stages of a leadership conference for women. I am looking forward to my next trip: Zambia and Zimbabwe in July. I'm going to run a 5k at Victoria Falls and spend 4 days relaxing in a backpackers in Livingston, Zambia. I'm training for that right meow. Do you know how fun running in deep sand isn't? :)

Another thanks to the people who have sent me care packages recently. It's like Christmas when I open a package here! I'm sure everyone will be glad to know that I have just started a really time consuming (YAY!) cross stich project of a cat looking out a window! I'm watching a lot of tv on my computer, reading A Clash of Kings (Game of Thrones Book 2), and cooking a lot of curry. I'm teaching my kids with a renewed sense of purpose. I'm putting in hours of playtime with little ones and showing my community by example that you CAN grow food in the desert. I'm going to be a mentor for a volunteer in the next group. Two weeks ago, I was a good tourist. Last week I was a good Peace Corps Volunteer. Who knows what I will be this week! So many possibilities! Whatever I am, I will do the best that I can!

Namaste from a lady who has seen a hippo in the wild!

PS-You should see the killer farmer's tan I'm rocking right now. Arms brown as a biscuit. Everywhere else...not so much.
PSS-Apparently it's baby animal season. BABY GOATS EVERYWHERE!!!
PSSS-Lots more pictures of my trip are available on my facebook page!

18 May 13: Sarah Teaches Yoga at Prison, Get Banned From the School Computer, and Takes Another Ride on the Roller Coaster


Good morning everybody! You're probably wondering where I've been for the last month, right? I've been around. The first week that I didn't write, I was in bad spirits. A lot of negative shit was happening here and I didn't want to drag my people into it. I decided that I would wait another week and write when I was in a better mood. Well the weeks went by. Same ol' same ol' until finally a month had passed!
So here's what you missed:

Home-Based Care Workshop!!
Using pillows to prevent pressure ulcers.

The first week of May I conducted a workshop for the Home-Based Care Volunteers in my village. We discussed all things how to take care of a bed-ridden person. I showed them some things they didn't know, i.e. using a draw sheet to pull someone up in bed, catheter care, and reinforced things they already knew. The health educator from the clinic served as my translator and "patient." There was a lot of laughing and I think the ladies enjoyed it. They invited me to accompany them on Home-Based Care visits in the future.
Rudimentary catheter care lesson using a rolled up piece of
paper!

I got the green light from the officer in charge of the prison to start a once-a-week yoga class for the inmates. We have had three classes so far and it is a HUGE success. The first class, I had 19 eager students ready to learn yoga! Some students leave and new students come but it's remained pretty much the same group of 15 guys. What keeps me inspired is their dedication to the practice. They give it everything in them when I'm there. And then when it's time for me to leave I've got 10 guys trying to roll up my mat for me! Last week my two favorite guys were transferred to another prison pending release. They both served as translators for me as they are well educated. I don't know if I should be embarrassed to say that my two closest friends in my village were prisoners but it's true. I'm sad that they are gone but I'm happy that they are getting out.

The shit hit the proverbial fan at school when I went to print something and was told that "teachers have been complaining" about my use of the school printer. I print around 2 pages per week for my projects at prison because I like to document what I'm doing there. Granted what I print is NOT school-related, I figured it would be fine considering I have typed and printed personal documents for teachers on many occasions (i.e. my school head's lease for her rental property, a letter for the deputy school head, etc.) Evidently, my 2 pages per week are going to run the printer out of ink. So I got banned from using our brand new computer and printer. Yeahhh.

I decided that I wouldn't feel comfortable submitting handwritten reports so me and my friend, Diane, planned a weekend trip to Gaborone where I could buy a printer. Besides eating good food, sleeping in a real bed, and watching tv, Diane helped me pick out some running shoes. With the wifi at Mugg and Bean Cafe I was able to sign up for the Victoria Falls 5K in mid July. I made plans to stay at a Backpackers in Livingston, Zambia. We also enjoyed an evening at the casino and a fancy dinner at the hotel's Asian restaurant! After a particularly enraging public transportation experience, we spent a couple of hours practicing our most offensive insults for next time.

I came home from Gabs a little more relaxed and a little less pissed at the school. When I arrived home late at night, I freaked out because Millie wasn't in her usual sleeping spot. The electricity was out, as it is almost every night now, so I found my lantern and set off looking for my girl. She was sleeping in the neighbor's yard. She has discovered that if she really really wants to she can jumpfly over the fence. Problem is, she can't remember how to get back. She's not all that smart. So the next morning I went to the neighbor's yard, greeted her, and she followed me home for breakfast. Crazy little lady!

Interest in my aerobics class has kind of fizzled out. I've had only a few students for several weeks in a row and I've decided to cancel it or switch it up or something. Since I'm training for the 5k, I think I'm going to organize a run/walk club that meets Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. We'll see.

GrassRootSoccer is still trucking along. We have 4 more practices left until graduation. We hit a snag a couple of weeks ago when several of the 7th grade girls decided to quit the team and peer pressure a bunch of other girls to go with them. I had a little talk with the kids about how we make choices in our lives. I told them that they have the choice to come to GRS or not to come. If they chose not to come, they would also choose not to graduate from GRS and if they don't graduate they don't get to come to the amazing graduation party. That pretty much took care of it. The diva 7th grade girls still have not returned but everyone else is back.

I attempted to start a computer class for teachers at school. So far not a single teacher has been taught computer skills because something always happens last minute that causes them to cancel. That is exactly what I expected would happen. Fine with me.

A special thank you to my mom and her coworkers who raised money for toiletries for the men at Tshane Prison! Also, thank you, to my dad and step-mom who are doing a fundraiser to buy toys for the preschool.

So I've described to you two of the four weeks that you've missed. This last week and a half has been no bueno. On Thursday, May 9th I came down with a little tickle in my throat that became bronchitis, pharyngitis, and an ear infection. On Sunday I got antibiotics from Florence, favorite nurse ever. Monday, I woke up unable to swallow and having breathing difficulty. The ambulance took me to Hukuntsi Primary Hospital, not so favorite hospital ever. I was skeptical about the level of care I would receive there having experienced that place during the mumps episode last year. A young nurse named Thula, a friend of the PCV in Hukuntsi, made me her personal project and took care of me while I was there. She called the doctor in off the wards to tend to me, escorted me to xray (had to rule out Tuberculosis of course), offered me tea from her home, and then drove me to the store to buy juice. I ended up getting an antibiotic injection, some tylenol, and strict instructions to rest.

Getting sick here is not like getting sick in America. In America you can pop on down to Walgreens for some cough medicine. In America you have family and friends who will bring you ice cream and Sprite and call you all the time to check on you. Being sick here...different story. It's every woman for herself. I spent 7 days in bed. Literally. All day and all night. I had to cancel all of my activities this week. Yesterday, I got up and stayed up all day for the first time. The sore throat and the ear infection have gone away, but I'm left with a nasty cough that keeps me up at night. Wait! I did have some visitors: the teachers from my school came to check on me. Unfortunately, the school head took that opportunity to bitch me out. When I left the hospital on Monday, I had to hitchhike home. I got a ride in the back of a police truck and then had to walk home from the police station. I walked by the school, a zombie more or less, just wanting to get home and get to bed. My school head was angry at me that I didn't stop by the school office and chat with her. See what I mean? See why I never go to school?

Funny story: Yesterday Florence insisted that I buy this peppermint oil stuff, labeled as a cure for flatulence, from the general dealer near my house. It is peppermint oil and alcohol (81%!!) that you mix with water and drink. Home remedy for cough I guess. You shoulda seen me trying to down this oily, pepperminty water concoction. It was the nastiest thing I've ever drank but it stopped my cough for several hours! And, no, it didn't make me drunk-unfortunately.

Back to serious stuff. I've mentioned on several occasions that PC service is an emotional roller coaster. There is an infamously low point that comes around the one year mark and I think I'm there, albeit a few months early. Can you believe I've been here for almost a year? I'm having a hard time giving people the benefit of the doubt. I'm having a hard time dealing with people who not only don't acknowledge my sacrifice to be here, but also insist that I'm rich. I'm having a hard time dealing with the hypocrisy that exists here, i.e. you're going to hell because you're not a good Christian like me, now let me go and have sex with my 4 boyfriends. So that's where I'm at right now. How do I help people that don't want to be helped? How do I convince my brain that these people even deserve help?

Good news: I'M GOING ON VACATION ON TUESDAY!!! I'm going up to the Okavango Delta to camp at a Backpackers for 5 days. Diane has been to this exact place and she LOVED it. The Backpackers is teeming with Americans and Europeans visiting Botswana for wildlife viewing. While there I'm going to go horseback riding, learn to weave a basket, and go on a boat safari. I am so excited. I'm hoping that this little break will bring me back up on top of the roller coaster.

My plan of action for when I come home from vacation: I'm going to focus more on activities with my kids. Kids are truly innocent and blameless and they are the only people that ever thank me for anything. I think that I will feel a lot more fulfilled in my service if I spend more time on kids and less time on adults. The King's Foundation, an NGO, is coming to my school on the 28th of May. They are training the teachers (supposedly) on the use of this amazing thing they are giving us called a base pack. It is a backpack FULL of things to play with. Balls and hoops and even one of those amazing parachutes that we played with in elementary school. I'm thinking that I can use this base pack to play with kids and teach them life skills, i.e. respect, self-image, teamwork.

Last thing (sorry that this has become the most disjointed email in history). My friend, Marshall, is coming here as a volunteer in August. CAN'T WAIT! We talk via whatsapp all the time and last night he commented that PC service transforms you. I've been thinking about that all night. How does it transform you? Is it the self sacrifice? Is it helping people in need? It's not. It's true that living without water security gives you a whole new outlook on your life in America. But what really transforms you is you. It comes from deep inside yourself. We have so much time to sit around and think here. You can literally spend a whole evening thinking about one aspect of your former life or one thing you did or this or that. We have hours upon hours to ponder. This re-examining is what changes you. This re-examining is a process that I've come to know goes something like this:

Step 1: Think about yourself, your personality, the YOU that makes you YOU.
Step 2: Drown in self-loathing. Convince yourself that you have several personality disorders. Diagnose yourself via wikipedia.
Step 3: Get over it.
Step 4: Reinvent yourself, incorporating the lessons that you learned from Steps 1-3 to become a better person.

The last 3 weeks I was in Step 2, which is why I didn't feel like writing. I convinced myself that I had some kind of antisocial personality disorder because I didn't want to socialize with villagers (not true-we just don't have any common values.) But as of yesterday, I'm in Step 3. I'm thinking that I'll be in Step 4 by May 26th.
I've been reading a lot lately and I'm currently reading a book that I found in the volunteer book stash in the PC office: Animal Dreams by Barbara Kingsolver. I've loved Kingsolver since high school when I read The Bean Trees (and found out that she is from KY!!!) The Lacuna: awesome. Anyway, the book is about a girl who goes to medical school, then drops out during her first year of residency, two months shy of becoming a doctor. She works several dead-end jobs, including cashier at a 7-Eleven, (sound like anybody you know?) before moving back to her home town to take care of her ailing father. During her stay there she examines her life and tries to figure out how she ended up where she is. Her sister Hallie, a volunteer in Nicaragua, sends her a letter that says "You can't let your heart go bad like that, like sour milk. There's always a chance you'll want to use it later."

My goal for the next week and a half is to revive my heart, forgive the grievances that have been done to me by the teachers I work with, and accept that ignorance is an opportunity for enlightenment. I have 18 months left here and I can't spend it hating people. I can't go home to America like the Grinch, with a heart two sizes too small! And with that, namaste! Next time you hear from me I'll have seen a hippo in the wild! Get ready!